Counselling psychologist Niamh Delmar writes about the issues raised in the Netflix mini-series Adolescence.
Increased digital use among children and teens is a significant source of stress for parents. The recent Netflix series Adolescence taps into parents' worst fears, with the story following a 13-year-old boy who is accused of the murder of a classmate.
With each episode filmed in one continuous shot, the story unfolds in real time as the surrounding characters - parents, police, and psychologists - search for answers in the wake of a shocking tragedy.
Who is actually responsible? Why did it happen? Could it have been prevented?
Reaching over 24 million views in the first four days of airing, the mini-series was inspired by the prevalence of knife crime and violent attacks on girls by teen boys in Britain.
Creators Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham aimed to explore the reasons behind this violence, highlighting the complexity of navigating masculinity in adolescence, and how the internet is now heavily involved in raising some boys.
Many parents will admit they are digitally ignorant when it comes to their teens' online worlds, and struggle to keep informed. Emerging phenomena and networks are difficult to keep track of.
The National Crime Agency in the UK has just recently warned of "com networks" made up of violent online gangs of boys grooming young girls into sexual abuse and self-harm. Tech addiction is also a concern and a source of conflict in many families. Schools also struggle to address this, and the prevalence of the 'manosphere'.
The series educates viewers about incel culture and coded emojis associated with cyberbullying. Incel ideology draws vulnerable boys in who feel unattractive, have low self-esteem and have been romantically rejected. The term 'incel' refers to being involuntarily celibate, describing males who are frustrated by their lack of sexual intimacy and then blame women.
Misogynistic and extreme views are associated with it, encouraging ways to manipulate and even harm girls. Incel forums offer a warped sense of belonging to these boys.
Studies emerging on incel identity reveal that boys' susceptibility includes romantic rejection, depression, anxiety, insecure attachment, being neurodivergent, a fear of being single, and loneliness. If feeling rejected by traditional masculinity, boys can wander into high risk online territories.
Youths are also particularly sensitive to rejection from peers. Alone, online, in a bedroom is a fertile breeding ground for vulnerable boys. Living in a dark digital world opens up doorways to being radicalised, and even perpetrating in the real world.
Violent acts as retribution have also been identified. Being caught up in digital cults, boys can get brainwashed and incited by extremist ideologies. From excessive online activity, rage can then erupt in real life. The adolescent brain is developing until the mid-20s. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for skills such as planning and making good decisions is the last part to mature.
Teenage boys may not be able to handle all this digital stimulation and content without guidance. They may not have the ability to control scrolling and manage emotional triggers. Algorithm-driven content on social media is a digital vortex that sucks people down rabbit holes.
Some are productive, others are brain-rot, and others are dangerous.
There are valid reasons why many life experiences are restricted to those over 18. Excessive social media use during the pandemic has further exacerbated mental health conditions among youth.
The Netflix series is instigating debate and highlighting the influence of digital misogyny on teenage boys. Stephen Graham, the co-creator of Adolescence, explained how everyone is accountable including parents, the education system, communities, the government, and social media platforms.
Digital-literacy education at a young age needs to be part of the school curriculum and home environments. As parents, we can keep updated with their digital worlds, influencers, and trends. Parents can monitor and be curious about the content their teens are gravitating towards online, and engage in regular discussions.
In today's world, even in stable home environments, boys can get into serious trouble online as many parents are too busy, overloaded, and stressed.
Read more: A psychologist's guide to coping with parental burnout
While trying to provide so much, the fundamentals of being present and emotionally connected can get neglected. While adolescents seek autonomy, they are not yet adults and need boundaries, guidance and to be seen. Adultification can also be high risk.
This is when adults put teens into situations that they are not ready for and treat them older than they are. Areas of the internet are saturated with violent, sexual and extreme content way beyond anyone's ability to handle - let alone young boys.
Boundaries around digital usage are essential. Agreements can be made that regular checks will be carried out and digital periods timed and devices can be banned from bedrooms. Parents can act as digital role models limiting time online for the whole family.
Having regular conversations discussing misinformation, algorithms, handling inapropriate content, marketing and other digital world topics is also important. Adolescents need to be empowered to make informed decisions about their online choices and behaviours.
Healthy attitudes towards women need to be fostered. Respectful interactions need to be encouraged between genders. Teens can be encouraged to come to their parents instead of to digital strangers.
Schools are no place for phones and, if needed, they can be left at a designated place and collected when leaving. This also promotes more in-person interactions. Educational settings can foster prosocial involvement, healthy beliefs and standards of behaviour.
Bullying can have devastating consequences, so school policies need to be stringent and proactive.
Humans need a variety of interests and physical activity in their lives, and this needs to be encouraged from childhood. Teen boys can often feel demonised, marginalised, and get stereotyped; they need to feel valued and included in society.
After around the age of 11, they become too old for certain experiences and too young for others. Part-time jobs could be of benefit, but they are underage. If not involved with sports or activities, opportunities to integrate become even harder and they get more excluded. Friendships often change, they may drift from families, and live more in their heads and online.
Fathers, male adults, influencers, celebrities and sports professionals can be powerful positive male role models. Healthy masculinity should be nurtured and embraced. Social media platforms play a significant role, and accountability has to be enforced. It is a child protection issue, and needs to be treated as it would in real life.
Parents can't do it alone.
The Netflix series has encouraged worldwide debates and exposes the dangerous side of the digital world in which adolescents are developing. It shows how disturbingly influential online can be to susceptible young boys. We need to explore protective factors for adolescent boys, offer early intervention if red flags arise, and stay close to them. This is a multi-faceted issue in need of responses that identify and address all contributing factors.
If you have been affected by issues raised in this story, please visit: www.rte.ie/helplines.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ
