Travel blogger Tara Povey shares her advice on reclaiming your self image during the summer, when an increased focus on our bodies and appearance can trigger deep insecurities.
Summer is most people's favourite season: the holidays, the long days, the sunny weather. However, the thought of underboob sweat, chub rub and our bodies being utterly on display is enough to send some of us into a spiral.
Seasonal talk of "summer" or "bikini" bodies makes me want to scream. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes but we've been made to believe that some of them are wrong and others (usually, it feels, never ours) are right.
Inspired by this, I recently posted a poll on Instagram asking people if they struggled with body confidence in the summer. I gave three options: "Don’t we all?", "Not particularly" and "All year round, baby!".
34 per cent of people voted for the first option and 60% voted for the third option, meaning only 6% voted for "Not particularly". Isn’t that devastating?
Sadly, I get it.
From the age of 18 to 20 I struggled with an eating disorder*. I over-exercised to the point of literal collapse. I failed college exams. All I cared about was tightening my belt another notch around my ever-shrinking waist. Everyone told me I looked great even though I’d never been so unwell in my life. Very few people noticed what was really going on, because many of us have been conditioned to think that skinny always means good and healthy. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Despite being a tiny size six and losing more than 25% of my body weight, I wasn’t happy. In fact, it was one of the most miserable times of my life. Even when I hit that goal weight, there was always something else that society wanted me to be insecure about.
These days I’m a very average size 14 UK. Of course, that means I could wear anything from a 10 to an 18 depending on what company produced the clothes. I try my best to celebrate my curves rather than hide them and I attempt to disavow toxic diet culture whenever I can.
Pop culture, media and weight loss companies play a significant role in that messaging, but I believe that it is up to us to break the cycle and not pass our insecurities on to younger generations.
It's something that emerges a lot with my work as a travel journalist, often creating content in sun-bleached towns and sandy beaches. While I’m happier and healthier now and comments about weight loss and diets largely roll off my back, I sometimes hear a voice in the back of my mind whispering that I need to be smaller. That voice always seems louder in summer but I have figured out some tricks for ignoring it.
Tips For Embracing Your Body This Summer
Remember that no one cares how you look.
Most people are solely concerned with themselves. Very few people will even notice you and your body. We often judge ourselves so harshly that we assume that others judge us the same way; this is rarely true. It’s much easier to let yourself exist in public when you realise no one cares.
Reconnect with your body.
Sometimes we can feel disconnected from our bodies. If we’ve been through trauma it’s often hard to feel like our body is our own. When I went through a bad break up I booked into a sexy dance class with Bonnie Boux to get grounded in my body. It was a great way to mix with and be inspired by people of all shapes and sizes in a fun, supportive environment.
Swimwear is for everyone.
There are plenty of brands that cater to all shapes and sizes. Kitty and Vibe offer different sized bottoms for each waist size, specifically for people who are blessed in the booty department. Wilde Mode is a sustainable Scottish brand that makes fun, colourful swimwear in sizes XXXS to 10XL. Elomi is perfect for cup-sized swimwear (up to a J cup). I also love Figleaves, M&S, Simply Be and CurvyKate for swimwear in a wide variety of sizes/styles. There is swimwear out there that will make you feel amazing this summer, I promise.
Comfort is key.
If you’re a victim of chub rub, make sure your summer wardrobe keeps you cool and comfortable. I always wear bike shorts under my dresses. Or if bike shorts would ruin the outfit then I use anti-chafing gel/cream deodorant on my thighs to stay friction-free. We all feel happier in our skin when we’re physically comfortable.
Speak kindly to yourself.
Negative self talk is a hard habit to break, but it makes a difference when you are kind to yourself. My general rule is if I wouldn’t say it to my best friend, then I shouldn’t say it to myself.
Take the photo.
Many of us avoid photos because we’re not comfortable with ourselves. But we miss out on capturing memories when we do this. If you’re not comfortable in front of the camera, check out Christine Buzan and BonnieRZM for posing tips. They’re just very normal women who break down the art of being photogenic into simple tutorials.
Have boundaries.
If people around you make toxic diet culture comments, explain to them why it is damaging. Most people don’t even realise they’re doing it and will stop when asked.
Curate your feed.
Social media can be a cesspit or it can be a place of utter inspiration. Curate your online space to be the latter. Fill your timeline with people who look like you, inspire you or who face the same issues you do. Hashtags like #midsizestyle and #plussizestyle are great for holiday style inspo.
Body confidence creators are a great source of inspiration, too. Some of my favourites from Ireland and beyond include Trisha’s Transformation, Freya Broni, The Birds Papaya, Self Love Liv, Kirsty Leanne Travels, Alex Light, Emily Jane Johnston, Jonathan Van Ness, Stephanie Yeboah, Megan Jayne Crabbe and Max Hovey.
Life is for living, no matter your shape or size. So I hope you get out there, create some memories and enjoy your summer, because back rolls and hip dips are cute and I will fight whoever says otherwise.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ.
* For more information visit Bodywhys.ie, phone their helpline on 1890 200 444 or email alex@bodywhys.ie.
