"Sometimes I feel like I've missed the boat, and I'm just sitting down at the pier, hoping one day that the boat will come back."
Well, in one sense, it really has for Fran Costello, the cult comedy hero who starred in the eponymous fly-on-the-wall series on Setanta Sports and TV3 from 2009-11 and who is now getting a run-out on the big screen.
That 14 years later people are still invested in the triumphs and disasters - usually the latter - of the assistant manager of St Peter's Celtic and want more of both says a lot about Darragh Humphreys' charmer of a performance in the lead role way back when. He doesn't disappoint here either.
Indeed, things are looking up for the eternal optimist at the start of this mockumentary. St Peter's - the team with the best football crest ever - have been drawn against Shamrock Rovers in the FAI Cup. And although he has already secured his place in League of Ireland lore by having an altercation with Brian Kerr at the draw drum, Fran is determined to leave his mark on Irish football history on the pitch with a giant-killing performance from his boys.
Then the guards pay a visit.
Once Fran is disabused of the belief that Interpol are a team from Cyprus, he learns that the scourge of match-fixing has visited St Peter's with crazy betting across the world on the team losing 5-0 to Rovers. The Sallynoggin underdog is tasked with finding out who's on the take and smashing a cartel to become "the man who saved football".
Is that a bigger task than making the jump to cinemas? Hmmm... Like many a beloved show before it, Fran the Man struggles at times to keep the laughs going over a feature-length duration. There's no doubt director Stephen Bradley and writer Richie Conroy have some good gags; they just needed more of them to get the most out of a fine cast.
That said, it can't be overstated how great Humphreys is as Fran - a gifted actor who deserves the chance to play different roles in the future. If you can do comedy, you can do anything.
There's a bittersweet subtext here about how people make sense of the world, and themselves, and it's no exaggeration to say that every fella knows Fran. Despite the movie that's playing in their own heads, they actually might be him.
The finale and its message are nicely done. It would be a pity if this is the farewell to Fran - he still has his best 90 minutes in him.
